Hold on, hold tight
by KathBell
Summary: "He's going into V-Fib! Page cardio." It was the last thing Colby heard before falling back into blessed unconsciousness.
1. Prolouge

**A/N: Based of what has to be the best song in, well, ever! I watched the video and this just popped into my head :P I'd love to hear your thoughts on it!  
Disclaimer: Own nothing from the show, nor do I own the song.  
Timing: Set after TM, Colby is back on the team, but him and David are still acting like crazy, annoying, stupid people. So somewhere in between Velocity and Thirteen.  
Spoilers: Minor Velocity spoilers. Some pretty good 'Janus List', 'Trust Metric', and 'The Mole' spoilers.  
Pairings: Only minor Don/Liz and Charlie/Amita. Just to fit the timeline really!  
Hold on, hold tight: Prologue**

"Difficulty breathing...Possible history of cardiac problems." _No kidding. _

"Possible punctured lung." _What?_

"In and out of consciousness..."

"Heart's overcompensating!"

The voices were a jumbled mess in his head. None of them were recognisable. _David? Don? Megan?_ No, it wasn't them. Where was he? The last thing he remembered was, well, not much. His mind was just fuzz, blurred images. He felt the sharp prick of a needle being placed in his arm and filched. It all came back to him. He was still on the boat. The words – the ones that only medical staff would use – had to be part of some hallucination because if it was real then that would mean that he had been found, right? "Sir?" Another unrecognisable voice. He realised that he was shaking his head – and that only magnified the pain. "Sir? Can you open your eyes for me?" _What harm could it do?_ All he'd see is the inside of a ship, Lancer, Dwayne's betrayed look (at least Dwayne knew how _he _had felt) and the needles, including the pain, both mental and physical, they brought with them.

It turned out that opening his eyes could do a lot of harm. Light flooded his vision, causing him to slam his eyes shut not even a second later. The pain was only intensifying. Growing worse by the second. Why couldn't Lancer just kill him? He wasn't going to let all the years of lies go to waste; all of the pain and hurt he'd caused his team – or ex-team – to feel, no. He was not going to tell Lancer anything, so he'd take dying right about now.

"He's tachycardic!" Another voice yelled, a clear hint of panic surfacing. He should probably be panicing at that thought to; but for some reason it was a relief. Even if this was all an hallucination.

"He's going into V-Fib! Page cardio." It was the last thing he heard before falling back into blessed unconsciousness.

**A/N: The rest will be longer (obviously) the shortness is just to set the scene, ect. Feedback is always appriciated!**


	2. Breathe in

**A/N: One thing I didn't expect this morning: that many reviews! Thank you so much! :D  
And for those who would like to know, the song that this story is based on is called 'Breathe in, breathe out' by Mat Kearney!  
Disclaimer: Own nothing.  
A/N2: This chapter had been re-edited due to some mistakes in the timing of Colby's arrival in the hospital and Kayla's phone call.**

**Hold on, hold tight: Chapter one.**

Dr Kayla Thompson searched through their John Doe's items. No I.D, a mobile phone, and a few painkillers – ones that you'd need when in a lot of pain. It looked like they were either brand new, or that the owner of them hadn't taken any so far. She also knew that to even get these type of painkillers you would need a pretty good cardiologist. Unfortunately, their top one was currently in surgery – so there went their current means of identification. The police had informed her that they were running his blood, but they couldn't get his prints until after the surgery. She had merely nodded. It was the John Does that she hated more than anything when it came to her job – well, losing a patient beat keeping a John doe alive. It was unfair, heartbreaking that they were very literally, all alone.

When this one had been brought in, he had been a mess – both physically and mentally. The young man had been driven to a panic attack when the cannula for the IV line had been placed in his arm. "Kay'" One of the nurses approached her, looking quite shocked and holding a sheet of paper. "It's your John Doe's tox results." There was a slight shake to her voice. Kayla gave the young nurse a look of confusion as she grabbed the sheet and read it.

Oh.

Wait. This guy was hit by a freaking car! "How the hell did _that _get into his system..." She paused for a second. "You don't think this could be Brown's patient?" The patient had been very popular around the hospital (and had done wonders for it's gossip mill), she herself hadn't seen him, but she had talked to his cardiologist. He had been tortured while undercover, died, yet he had still managed to live to see another day.

Her John Doe could be this guy.

–

Don Eppes despised a lot of things, but this one was surely moving to the top of his list. Being woken up at 5 O'Clock in the morning would be okay _if_ it was a member of his team calling him for help, but when a unknown number rang his phone – he didn't like it. Not one bit. But it could be important – and with the trouble-magnets on his team, it probably was. "Eppes." He answered groggily.

"Sir?" A professional voice – never a good thing. "This is Dr Thompson, from Los Angeles General." Don was out of bed in less than a second – much to the displeasure of the slowly-waking Liz. "A Colby Granger was brought in about about two hours-"

Don interrupted before she could continue. "Two hours? How come we haven't been contacted?" He was angry. Two hours? That was way too long – even for a hospital. He had a nagging feeling at the pit of his stomach that this was going to get much worse, very fast.

"We've only just identified him. There was no I.D on him Agent Eppes." Don let out a sharp breath of air, and ran his hands through his hair. Liz was sitting up now, her hand resting comfortingly on his shoulder. She could read him easily. When he ran his hand through his hair, or spoke in that tone of voice, he was deeply worried and stressed. At this point, though, she'd go for fear.

"What happened to him?" He heard the doctor inhale deeply – as if considering whether or not she should tell him.

"We're not entirely sure." What kind of answer was that? Don was about to ask that exact question when the doctor continued. "He had been brought in as a hit and run victim, but his tox. screen showed up some, erm, unusual results." Don didn't know why, but a few big part of him was silently hoping that Colby had gotten drunk. "Agent Eppes, I'm no agent, but it is very clear that someone made an attempt on his life before the accident."

"Condition?" He was silently dreading the answer.

"Currently critical, we can't do much for him. He'd been drugged so we have to be careful with pain medication, he has also sustained several fractures, and a serve concussion. We also found marks on his wrists that suggested he had been restrained, and several bruises that had to of been there for several hours prior to the incident." Don nodded to himself, before remembering that she couldn't see him.

"We'll be there soon." He didn't bother with saying goodbye as he hung up, he'd be seeing the doctor in less than an hour (traffic in L.A wasn't so bad at five in the morning).

–

David frowned. The ringing of his cell had not woken him, he hadn't been asleep anyway. He'd been woken by a nightmare of sorts, he'd been on the freighter, and he'd let them do all of that to Colby. He'd even helped, and Colby had just asked why.

_I shouldn't feel guilty. He lied to you. Two years..._ but even with those reasons, David was unable to hate his partner. He'd tried but he had finally given into that fact and reached out a metahorical hand to his partner. It was then that he remembered that his phone had been ringing. He scrambled over to the annoying object, and answered with a simple 'Don?'. Something was wrong. He'd known that from the second he had seen the caller I.D. Don wouldn't call this early unless something was wrong.

"David," There was no denying it now. All hope that he had been wrong about his conclusion disappeared at Don's worried tone. "It's Colby." And he was pretty sure his heart nearly stopped again – like it had on the freighter. He hadn't been able to breathe properly until he knew Colby was going to be okay (though a small part of him was screaming that Colby wouldn't be okay).

"What?" One word. Don't get mad. Keep calm. It's probably nothing. Who was he kidding? Don had said it himself – it's Colby. His friend – or whatever they were now – never done things the easy way.

"I don't know what happened, I'm on my way to the hospital now." Hospital. So it was bad. Colby had to be dying or unconscious to allow himself to be taken to hospital – and the thought of Colby being any one of those things made David nauseous.

"What happened?" Two words, at least it was better than one. He seemed to be unable to form lengthy sentences, perhaps it was from the shock.

"I don't know the details, no one does." That means Colby is unconscious. "He'd been hit by a car, but his blood showed up certain drugs." David felt his grip on the phone intensify at this new information. "We'll go to the hospital first, okay, Liz is going to the office to take the investigation off LAPD, and Megan is on her way. Liz called her."

"What hospital?"

"General, you okay to drive?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Once Colby is, David added silently.

–

When David arrived at the hospital Don and Megan were already there. Megan looked slightly horrified, scared even, while Don just looked plain disgusted and angry, he shared the same look of horror that Megan was wearing. They both looked up when he burst into the waiting room, both dreading breaking this news to David. They all knew how close the two were – even if things had been shaky for the past few weeks. They could tell that David was beating himself up inside for something that was beyond his control, and this information certainly wasn't going to help.

"Is he..." David couldn't even bring himself to say it. The possibility that Colby wasn't alive, especially after everything that had happened, was unfathomable, unbelievable.

Impossible.

Yet here he was, knowing that it was true.

Colby could be dead.

**A/N: Slight cliff-hanger (ain't I evil!) Chapters will be getting longer after I pass this stage in the story (in quick, when Colby makes an appearance!). Feedback loved as always :) **


	3. Breathe out

**A/N: Again, thank you all for reviewing (as clichéd as that phrase is for anyone on fan fiction..), it really made my day (considering that I have school tomorrow and a stack of uncompleted homework in for third lesson, that's something!)  
I'll make it known now: Written on three hours of sleep in the last 24 hours, so please ignore any typo's and missed out grammar, ect. Also, I had to edit the time line a bit, and part of the Don/Kayla conversation, so the last chapter has been re-uploaded. You don't have to read it, but it will make it easier!  
One final note now: A good song to listen to during this chapter (well, for the David/Colby (not slash) bit) is Wires by Athlete. It is amazing.  
Disclaimer: Own nothing.**

"He's alive, David." David let relief wash over him. Colby was alive so everything would be okay, right?

Hell no. David studied Don for the next few seconds, seeing his boss looking truly frightened hadn't helped his worry – not in one bit. "And?" 

"He's... We..."

"Don, tell me what happened." Megan glanced from David to Don and decided that she should step in. The conversation was getting heated, and the last thing that they needed was an argument breaking out.

"David, Colby had been hit by a car. He hurt his head bad-" Judging by the look on David's face, she didn't need to continue. "and, he fell into a coma." David looked – felt – defeated. Even though Megan – someone who wouldn't lie to him, especially about Colby – had told him what Colby's condition was, he refused to believe it. This was Colby. Never still, always talking, nervous – no, wait, Colby wasn't nervous. Post-Lancer Colby was, but not Colby, and over the last case, he had seen his friend wind down a little, because less.. hurt, less scared. It was why he had found the fishing lure. He had seen the look of distress when it hadn't been at his desk, so he had spent a good few hours searching for it. "It's not too bad, the doc said he can still feel and move a bit." He was responding well to painful stimulus, the doctors exact words. Good?

Megan wasn't sure if she should count that as a good thing. The tox' screen had showed up all of the same drugs that Lancer had used, just in different quantities. She knew from the last time Colby had been in hospital, that even a mere brush between two hands could feel like someone was stabbing you (something that she had learnt, painfully for him, and heartbreaking for her) so she couldn't imagine what being hit by a car would have been like. Let alone the bruises on her friends chest and stomach that suggested that he had been beaten. Her heart constricted painfully at the thought of what her friend had been through.

"Can- Can I see him?" There was a desperate pleading tone to David's voice. Don nodded, sending his friend a brief, reassuring smile before pointing towards a doorway. Don had seen Colby, and so had Megan. He was considering sending the profiler in with David as moral support, but he knew that Liz – as remarkable as she was – couldn't handle this investigation on her own.

Liz. He had to ring her, tell her Colby was alive, the basics. He should've remembered that, he was sure of it. Maybe it had just slipped his mind?

So had Charlie, Larry, Amita and Dad. Groaning inwardly at himself for making such a mistake, he rubbed his hands over his face tiredly. It was sometime around six now, not even an hour after they had turned up. It was understandable to be forgetful, and, in the rush to get to Colby, he hadn't been able to pick up coffee. He was pretty sure that Megan had bought some from the cafeteria while he had been pacing and offered him one, but she had since thrown the cold cup into the bin. Don took his hands away from his face again, seeing that Megan was looking at him with a worried look on her face, and David had already disappeared. "Don, you okay?" 

Megan mentally head-slapped herself. Of course Don wasn't okay, none of them were. She was still trying – and failing – to forget her DOJ assignment, Colby was in the ICU, barely able to breathe or wake up, David was a mess, and Don had to be the glue that pulled them all together. It wasn't fair really, for such a big weight to be resting on one man's shoulders, but she knew that Charlie would talk more sense into Don than her. God only knows what Don would be like when they found the bastards that had done this to Colby – and she didn't even want to imagine what David would be like, maybe it would be a good idea to keep David away from interrogation for the mean while. Not that whoever done this didn't deserve whatever they got – because she could safely say that they did – but she knew that Colby wouldn't want David's career ruined because of what had happened to him.

"I will be." He paused for a second. So far there hadn't been the sound of David punching a hole in a wall, so he assumed it was safe for them to leave. "Come on, we better get to work." And find the bastard that had done this.

–

David slowly opened the door to the ICU, taking a deep breath to ease his nerves and steady his shaking hands. The sight that greeted him nearly made his legs buckle, and he had to take another deep breath to calm the growing nausea. Colby's left wrist was covered in a thin cast, probably broken, David thought, but that seemed to be the least worrying of Colby's injuries. His friend had an oxygen mask placed firmly over his face, helping him to breathe. Even while his friend was wearing a hospital gown, David could see the bandage that was wrapped around Colby's chest – broken, bruised or cracked ribs. "God..." He whispered, barely able to conceal his shock. He had known that his friend was going to look bad, but he hadn't expected to see the battered and bruised body that was Colby. His legs moved without him noticing – or caring – and David soon found himself sat in the chair next to the bed. From here he could see several more injuries, lacerations along his friends arm – possibly from the glass from whatever car had hit him, but David highly doubted it – several bruises, small as they were but still painful, on his face. There were wires – too many of them in David's opinion – surrounding his friend. IV lines attached to his hand – two to be exact – supplying him with the necessary antibiotics and fluids. It was the same as last time – unable to give him the pain relief that he needed because of the possibly fatal reactions it could have with the drug cocktail. Leaving his friend in pain. He couldn't even hold his friends hand, or put an comforting hand on his friends shoulder – because, according to Megan, a single touch would be extremely painful.

It was as if Megan hadn't thought that David had watched the tape, because he had. It was the first thing he had done after getting back from the hospital, him and Don. Liz had been in and out, and even she had looked pained at the sight on the plasma TV. She hadn't been his best friend, his partner, his... brother, for years. David had been damn close to hating Carter even more for shooting Lancer, because at that point (and now too) in time, he had wanted nothing more than to rip Lancer's throat out.

He was snapped out of his recollections when Colby flinched. Colby doesn't flinch – the guy could have a gun pointed at his head and would still be able to make a joke about it.

_'He can still feel and move a bit.'_ Megan's words seemed to echo in his mind, squashing any hope that Colby could've been waking up. He shouldn't have hoped. Life wasn't like in the TV programs, or in the books that people read, you don't just wake up and get out of bed, you don't just wake up a mere few hours later with a smile on your face and a kind greeting for your friend who had been sitting at your bedside. No, that didn't happen.

But that didn't make him stop hoping for it to happen.

"Come on, man, you wanna wake up for us?" No reply, David shook his head at himself, closing his eyes to desperately stem the tears threatening to spill.

It didn't work.

–

"Okay, so we know that Colby left at 12pm yesterday." Liz informed them, motioning to the time-line that she had placed on the board.

"He had a follow-up with his cardiologist." Don added, trying not to let on the worry that he was feeling. Colby may be alive, but he still wasn't out of the woods yet, and the people that had hurt him were still out there.

"Yeah, but, according to Dr Brown, he never showed." Liz continued. Something was off about this whole thing – well, more than the obvious. "So, he had to have been.. taken, somwhere between here, and the hit-and-run sight." Don glanced at the map she had laid out for them. Megan looked at it too and sighed.

That was an awful amount of space between their two destinations. "I think we should call Charlie in, maybe he could get something." Liz added, seeing the look on the pairs faces. She herself had shared that look when she had first seen it.

**A/N: Gonna have to end there, sorry (was planned to be much longer!)**


	4. Tell me all of your doubts

**A/N: Want to know what happened to Colby? Well, this is your lucky day! Flashback chapters are always quite fun :) However, most of Colby's memories will be spread out over longer chapters, this is just the basics. Set at about ½ 12 (about six hours) after the last chapter.  
So, after several computer crashes (and several coffee's due to it being 2 in the morning when I started this..) I finally have the chapter done!  
Disclaimer: Own nothing.  
Hold on, hold tight: Chapter four. **

_Colby walked into the practice, his stomach immediately dropping. This can't be good. He reached back his hand, about to grab his gun, when he felt the familiar prick of a needle entering his neck. He tried to struggle as two pairs of hands grabbed his arms, but his strength was fading fast. He felt himself being pushed onto the floor before his world succumbed to darkness. _

David glanced up at his friend, the worry creeping over him once again. Nightmares? It had always been something that he had never been able to associate with Colby Granger, but now it was the very first thing that came to mind.

That couldn't be right, could it?

"_Granger, long time no see." Colby had to work very hard to hide the shock on his face. Dead guy staring at me – not always the best situation to find yourself in. Dead guy who Carter killed – and you were there – just makes the whole situation even more peachy. "No, not dead. Just so you know. Got a few hefty scars, but the wife usually cleans them up." Colby pulled at the bounds keeping him restrained to the chair for a second, praying silently that the bounds were loose and he would be able to escape. He had seen the tray of items to the far corner of the small exam room. "I wouldn't try, it'd waste your energy." Another figure walked in, he could hear the footsteps approaching him from behind. "Now, Granger, this should hurt." _

A few minutes had passed before Colby started to move – not just flinches, physically moving. At first it had been just the odd centimetre, but David looked up to see Colby pulling away from something, his face showing clear pain. David reached out for the call button and pressed it, and, only a few seconds later, Dr Brown entered. "You think some thing's wrong?" The doctor asked, moving over to Colby's side and checking over the many machines. David nodded, fear beginning to engulf him. "Well, Agent, looks like your wrong." The doctor had an overly cheerful smile on his face. "Your friend is waking up."

–

"Don, if we count Colby as missing since he left the office, it would've been..."

"18 hours, I know." Megan could hear the clear regret and guilt clouding his voice.

Megan was about to say something, anything to try and convince him that none of this was their fault, but Liz walked in with a smile on her face. Megan and Don initially thought she was crazy. "Colby's waking up, and we have the CTTV of the guy that hit Colby." It had to be the best news that they had heard all day.

–

_The face came into view – normally (yes, he had just referred to being held against his will and pumped full of drugs as normal,) he would've ignored the face and concentrated on whether his team would find him within the next few hours. However, his mask slipped and pure, uncontrolled shock spread over his face. If his situation had been dismal before, it had just turned into plain and simple catastrophic._

He was pretty sure that his doctor should not be injecting him with something that made his veins feel like fire. 

It had been about half an hour now, and the doctor had left. David wasn't leaving. His friend had been through hell – twice – and was about to wake up out of a short coma. "Colby?" His uncertain voice question. He could have sworn he had seen Colby open his eyes for a few seconds.

There it was again. A wide smile spread on his face when his partner opened his eyes for a third time. "Colby?" He had to make sure.

"D'vid?" He asked, his voice hoarse and tired. Why was David here again?

"Yeah, man. It's me." David let the relief and happiness wash over him. His friend was awake and able to speak – there wasn't much else that he could ask for really.

"Real?" There was the nausea again. The mere thought that Colby would have to ask that was yet another reminder of what his friend had been through.

"Yeah, real."

a/n: Please review :)


	5. Everybody bleeds this way

**A/N: A week isn't _that _long, is it? Anyway: I do have an excuse. Even though I had this all planned out, I have been sick all week (which really sucks) and have only just gotten to the point where I can sit up and write _without_ falling asleep on the keyboard :P So please forgive the fact that this chapter probably looks like absolute rubbish!  
Thank you all so much for the reviews!  
Disclaimer: Own nothing. **

Brown waked briskly through the ICU doors, a frown on his face. This was not the type of person that he was. He was not this cruel, torturing person that his boss thought him to be. But this time; he actually had enjoyed his work. This Granger person had killed his best friend – not directly – but during Granger's time in the army, he had killed his best friends husband, and only a month later, her body had been found.

So, in his mind, Granger had killed his best friend, and he was hell bent on revenge.

His boss was a relative of the man that Granger had killed – so it had all worked out pretty well both ways. Get him better – that had been the plan – make him trust you, and then you strike – they had gotten Granger. However, they had not planned on the man surviving.

So here he was again, a vial of potassium chloride in his pocket as he continued down the corridor.

Finally, he was getting some closure. The rage itself had died down, only visible to people who knew him – no one in LA that he knew of – could see it, but the everlasting loss, the grief, the unnameable pain he felt, it was still there. Still felt fresh. Still felt as though it had only just happened yesterday.

And he'd do absolutely _anything_ to make that die down.

–

"Dr Brown? How's he doing?" David asked nervously. Colby had gone to sleep near enough straight after he had woken up and, although David knew that this was quite normal, he couldn't shake the feeling that something had gone drastically wrong – or, at least, was about to.

"He's doing great Agent Sinclair. However, I will need you to step out of the room for a few minutes in order for me to conduct a few tests." David started to interrupt. "No but's agent, your friend has been through quite a lot of trauma in the last 24 hours; and I cannot conduct these tests if you are in the room. Plus, you haven't stepped out of this room once, have you?" David looked at the floor, shaking his head sheepishly. "I'd suggest that you go down to the canteen and have something to eat before you collapse. You'll be no good to your friend if your on bed rest, and, contrary to popular belief, the food here is not that bad." Brown smiled as David nodded. The plan was going perfectly, and Granger would be dead within the hour if it carried on going this way.

"Could you get one of the nurses to call me when you're done, they have my number." The doctor nodded, and watched as the agent left.

Perfect. Brown reached into his pocket and pulled out a syringe.

–

"Hold on." Megan paused the video and turned her head around to face Don. He was squinting at the drivers face, a look of recognition on his face. "Zoom in on the driver." She did so, and suddenly realized why Don looked ready to scream. It couldn't be, the driver couldn't be Colby's doctor.

"Dammit, we've got to get to Colby!" Her phone was out within seconds, and she was dialing David's number before she realized it.

–

David sat in the cafeteria. In all honesty, he was just waiting until the call came for him to get back to Colby. Food wasn't exactly the first thing on his mind. He felt sick, and just looking at food made him nauseous. Colby's quiet question was still echoing through his head. He didn't want to believe that his friend had to ask that. Didn't want to believe that part of this, was ultimately, his fault. If he and Colby had been speaking (or more like, if he hadn't been an ass to Colby) then David would've probably offered to drive his friend to the appointment and this could have all been avoided. He was pulled by his thoughts by the annoying ringing of a phone, and, hoping it would lead to some answers on who had done this to Colby, he answered it. "Mega- What?"

No. He had just left the very same doctor that Megan was talking about with Colby. Alone, unarmed, defenseless, and – if he woke up – terrified Colby. Shit. David sprang up from his seat, the phone dropping onto the ground – whether his co-worker had hung up didn't matter – and raced out of the cafeteria.

–

Colby opened his eyes slowly. Little pain, always a good sign – well, 50% of the time anyway. "Ah, Colby-" Still here then? He had been so sure that he had been in the hospital before, and by the looks of it, he still was, but Brown wouldn't be here if he was in a hospital. A hospital would mean rescue – and a rescue would've put Brown in jail. Right? Or maybe the team still thought he was a traitor? Either way, he was screwed, and about to die, well, about to die in the foreseeable future – when, however, he didn't know. "Glad to see you're awake. Your partner has been here, quite a lot. Poor guys gonna have one hell of a shock when he comes back, don't you agree?" Colby stayed silent. Silence always does it. Silent about your feelings, and especially silent when a guy holds your life in his hands and you are unable to fight back. "You really are being quiet, but you see Colby, we know _everything_ about you." Colby moved his head over slightly, the movement triggering a pulsating pain to shatter his head. Biting his lip to keep himself from showing this, he glared defiantly at Brown.

God, he wanted this to end more than anything. He actually wanted Brown to give him a drug that would cause death. It was really the only thing left to happen. Pain, torture, hallucinations, mental torture, physical torture (plus he felt like he'd been hit by a freaking car by now!) - the only thing left to do was kill him. "Now, now, no need for that. I may as well tell you, cos' you've got about three minutes to live-" It was probably a bad sign that those words brought a wave of relief crashing over him, but he was in no position to worry about his state of mind right now. "We've been watching you Colby. We've seen the video from the boat. We've seen you have nightmares, even the ones after you left the ward." Colby would never admit it, but that scared him. It scared him a hell of a lot. No one knew about the nightmares, or the occasional (every day) flashbacks, he hadn't told them. They'd just have put it down as another reason to reassign him, or just to kick him out of law enforcement all together. That's if the last few weeks had been real, which at this point, he truly couldn't tell.

–

David burst through the ICU doors, raising his gun so that he could shoot Brown. He turned the corner, motioning for the nurses to move and get themselves as far away from Colby's room as possible. "Call security." He mouthed to one of them, before removing one of his hands from his gun and pushing open the door.

**A/N: Only I could leave it there, right?**


	6. Just the same

**A/N: Technically, I should be doing my English essay... and my science one... and R.E... But. I decided to update... Late. Blame orchestra/choir/hospital appointments galore (I hate prize week...) and then (get this) my H key stooped working (still broken technically, have to use the on-screen keyboard) and (another?) my charger **_**melted! **_**The metal part has a giant hole in in and I had to wait a whole week :'( Plus a lot of crap happened during that week I was waiting, so I real-l-l-ly am sorry! :'(****  
Thank you so much for reviewing! :D  
One more thing; you **_**really**_** should listen to the song 'Poison' by Suzie McNeil, its the second most perfect song in the world :D****  
Disclaimer: Own nothing.**

"Drop the needle." David's voice betrayed him, anger and fear slipping through his calm exterior. The needle that contained a lethal dosage of something (David was guessing this, but it did seem the most likely option) was hovering right by Colby's IV line. There was less than a millimetres difference between Colby living or dying. And if that didn't scare the shit out of David nothing would. "Now."

David's hands were shaking as he held the gun, aimed carefully at Brown. He let his eyes momentarily drop to Colby – and what he saw shook him. Colby looked calm – eerily calm – as if he was – had – accepted this, as if he was welcoming death. His friend seemed to ignore David's appearance in the room – he probably thinks this isn't real. "Drop the needle." He repeated. He hoped that his voice was calm – because he was anything but. David was sure that if his heart went any more faster that it would jump out of his chest. He'd never be like Colby – his game-mask wasn't as good. Nowhere freaking near that good. He knew that some of his feelings – the blinding fear, the panic that was threatening to swallow him whole – were being portrayed on his face, though not to the extent that he was feeling. He was glad of that – if he was showing how he felt then Brown would've laughed in his face.

Colby was sure that he had just heard David. That couldn't be right. David shouldn't be here, David can't be here! He was internally screaming, David had to get out. They couldn't hurt David – him, yes, because he deserved it after everything he had put the team through, but David? God no. He felt physically sick at the mere thought of them harming his friend, it was enough to panic him, but no. He had to stay calm. Maybe David was just an hallucination? Probably was. Colby decided that ignoring him – hallucination or not – would be more beneficial. The faster this was over with the better.

What he didn't expect was the firing of two shots, but he had a strong feeling that it was too late. Something had entered his blood stream, God knows what it was, but his breathing became a harder task very quickly. "Colby!" Someone was yelling, but it sounded far away – and he had been here before.. The far away noises, the suffocating feeling – it was all hitting him and he couldn't escape this time. No one was coming, no one was coming, he was alone. He was repeating the mantra over and over in his head, feeling himself fall into blind panic sometime over the next few minutes...

David had quickly gotten a doctor – and informed them that Colby was their patient and not Brown (Brown was _thank God _dead). One of them – the blonde haired one – was recognisable, but where from he didn't know. His attention was focused on his best friend. Brown had barely pushed any of that stuff into Colby before he was dead – barely any. David hadn't been hesitant about pulling the trigger. But still – that small amount of poison could... No. He couldn't die now. Colby couldn't. It wasn't right. Brown was dead – and as far as he knew, Brown was the only one who had hurt his friend – and Colby had fought this far; so why not fight some more? His friend had made it through a war, through being blown up, from being betrayed by his best friend, and then going undercover for two years. He had never thought about what it must have been like for Colby while he was undercover – forced to lie to your team mates, wondering if your secret could be out whenever someone approached you. It must have been hell.

Someone's yelling pulled David out of his thoughts. The blonde haired doctor (who he was sure he knew from _somewhere_) was standing in front of him. "Sir?" David quickly looked at Colby – his friend was more important than the doctor. His friend looked terrified, but he was breathing and drifting off to sleep (David assumed they had given him some sort of sedative). "Sir?" The woman spoke louder now. David decided that it was only fair to listen to the doctor – she had probably saved Colby's life, and anyone who saved Colby's life deserved to be listened to (and thanked repeatedly, but that could wait).

"Huh? Erm, I mean, is he okay?" Make sure Colby's okay. Just because he's breathing doesn't mean that he will be fine. David tried to ignore the words being thrown around in his head. Physcially Colby may be fine – he may be better than fine. Mentally? It was a whole different story. David had barely seen his friend in the past few weeks – and if they had been talking, Colby would've been staying at his place after his discharge from the hospital, and David would have a much clearer view on his friends metal state, without having to rely on Megan to give him pointers that only she could see. Right now, David doubted that his friend would ever be 'fine' mentally. Pre-Janus-List Colby still had nightmares (Colby may never had told him that, but David had witnessed one himself when his friend had taken the couch), and post-Lancer Colby would be having nightmares – there was no doubt about it. Now? David was almost scared to find out.

"So far, fine. Barring any complications-" David didn't even want to ask about what complications could occur. "He should be fine. He will be staying in at the least, a week, quite probably two, for observation." Colby wouldn't like that. If there was one thing Colby liked – it was privacy – and in a hospital, it was extremely hard to come by. Damn near impossible. Colby would hate staying in hospital, but David wasn't going to let that stop his friends recovery. No, he'd find a way to make Colby's stay as comfortable as possible before his friend returned to his place – because there was no doubt about that. Colby was staying at his apartment – and nothing or no one would be able to stop that. "However, I think we should talk about his physiological healing."

The doctor seemed to be agreeing with his earlier thoughts now, and David couldn't be sure how much of a bad thing that was. "How... How..." David wasn't sure how to put this into words. What do you say in a situation like this because he was pretty sure that there was not a handbook on 'your partners just been held against his will, tortured, and is gonna be messed up; what to say to the doc!'. Although when you consider the last few months, David would be the one who wrote the book. "How bad?" He finally managed to say it – though he wanted to rip out his own throat at the words. He didn't want to think of Colby like this. It didn't feel... right. But then again; what was about this situation?

**A/N: Would LOVE to write more, but I'm praying for snow right now, so there is a CHANCE of an update tomorrow :D Please tell me what you think (and pray for snow in the city of Liverpool if you would, greatly appreciated!) **


	7. Breathe in, breathe out

**A/N: Sorry about this, it was my plan to update regularly but the last few weeks have been hell, and I have another 7 hour long mass (the curse of the teacher finding out you play an instrument) tomorrow, coupled with dentist appointments and hospital appointments (what sort of person schedules them for the same day?) :( So again, **_**sorry**_** for the waits! And I know that the first part is Megan-centric but I'm in a Megan mood today :P Sorry if it seems a little OCC, it was very late at night when I wrote this, and lack of Numb3rs re-runs on ITV are to blame :P  
Disclaimer: Own nothing.**

_I don't stop; not even in my dreams.  
I don't stop seeing things that I've seen.  
I don't know why I raise this hell.  
I'm just a soldier fighting for someone else..._**Civic Twilight; Soldier. **

"Is he okay?" Megan asked the second that she saw David perched nervously in a chair. His face was hidden but his shoulder were visibly shaking, and even from the end of the corridor she could see that he was distressed. David looked up for a few seconds, unshed tears could be seen in his eyes as he struggled to keep it together. That couldn't be good. David had only cried twice – that she had seen anyway – the first time was when Colby had been outed as a traitor, the second when she arrived at the hospital after finding Colby on the freighter. She hadn't watched the tape with David (she knew he had though), but she had a strong feeling that it had been the first. If he was about to cry now... It could mean that Colby was dead, and Megan was certainly unwilling to accept that possibility.

"He's okay." Don had caught up to Megan at that point (he had no idea that she could run that fast...) and she could hear the sigh of relief that came from him. "They... They said he's okay physically," David may as well have been reciting what the doctor had told him. It wasn't as if they didn't already know. He had known from the second that Don called. Megan had known from when she had saw the look of pure terror on Colby face when she was in the hospital with him (after the Chinese incident) and he had been having a nightmare. Don had known from when he first saw the changed behaviour, and the dark circles under Colby's eyes. All of them pointed to the same thing – but only pointed. Before, they still had hope (well, David and Don did, Megan was a professional psychologist, and she knew that their worst fears were her least), but now? Now someone had told them. Now; it was inevitable. Colby had been to hell and back too many times. Their hope had been extinguished – and while Don was just glad that Colby was alive, it was hitting David like a ton of bricks. He had already been feeling – unnecessarily – guilty about everything; the entire mess; but it had grown in the last day or so, and now Megan was worried that it would destroy him.

David was having similar thoughts. Deep down – very, very deep down – he knew that none of this could have been his fault (with the exception of the Chinese incident, because if he'd of trusted Colby that wouldn't have happened) because how was anyone supposed to anticipate this happening to their best friend. It shouldn't happen. Not to anyone – especially Colby. His friend had given up everything for his country. He had never questioned his orders and never spared a thought for is own well-being (David had lost count on the sheer amount of times that Colby had been injured, sick, or tired, and still claimed to be 'fine'). And what repayment had he received for this? A couple of worthless (in Colby's mind anyway, as David had heard his friend refer to them) medals, a worrying (then, now it was simply catastrophic) mental state, and a partner that had been outright horrible to him. He deserved better – deserved more – and God help anyone who went after his partner (he skipped out the 'again') or tried to destroy him a little bit more.

–

Colby was well aware that he was awake, conscious – and for once – not in pain. It was quite strange, and he was curious. He didn't want to open his eyes though. He had been in a lot of situations that people would consider terrifying – war, explosions, being within a mile of Lancer – but they hadn't scared him nearly as much as this. He couldn't: he just couldn't open his eyes to more pain. They always waked till he was awake – and they'd go to great lengths to get him there – to inject him or hurt him, so faking sleep seemed like the smartest option. But he couldn't be sure of that. His mind was a mess – paranoia, anxiety, fear; all things he had experienced before, but never to this extent. When you combine that with the confusion, pain, and stress; it was bad. Even he could recognise that. But because of that he couldn't make the decision. Was he even alive? Where they still here? He could remember being found (on the side of the road, after he had made a miraculous run for it when they threatened to kill David), and then David coming into the room. But Brown had been in the room too. Either they had caught David.. or... His blood ran cold as another particularly disturbing thought entered his exhausted mind:

Had David been helping them? No, no, no, no... He started to shake his head as terror started to course through him. No, not David. David may hate him, but he wouldn't do... that, would he? He hated not being able to tell the truth. He hated what they had reduced him to – wondering if his own partner had played a part in all of this. He hated this whole mess. But the more he thought about it, the more it seemed like David had been there. His friend could've been hallucinating, but he couldn't be sure... and to be honest, he'd rather David torturing him than being tortured...

He started to notice that breathing was harder. He couldn't get enough air into his lungs no matter how many breaths that he took, and that he was on the verge of hyperventilating. He just wanted this to be over. If he died he wouldn't mind. He truly would be relieved.

–

David and Megan walked into the room, Don had gone back to Liz and they were pretty sure he wouldn't have frozen in shock at the sight (like they did) and would've got help – straight away. Colby was shaking his head, as if refusing to an invisible force. At the same time, he was showing clear signs of distress, and no one was a fan of the way he was breathing, Colby was verging on hyperventilating. He stood frozen to the spot for a few seconds before he ran over to his friend. He heard the door bang behind him and assumed that Megan had gone to get help. Until she returned, David was left with the task of trying to keep his friend calm. "Colby?"

**A/N: I am so sorry for the short chapters, but I thought you deserved a chapter today, because I know I won't be updating for at least three days! Sorry! And thank you all so much for putting up with my crazy updating schedule/short chapters, and for reviewing. It really means a lot!**


	8. Move on and Break down

**Kinda-long-BUT-please-read-anyway-A/N: Okay, yes, I am fully aware of how long its been, again (for the 5th time?) and I am fully aware of how bad of a timekeeper I am, and to be honest, I probably wouldn't have updated (bad writers block, sorry about the badness of this chapter XD) but I know I will not be updating in a while, I have surgery in one week and could be in hospital for a while, so I figured that I'd update. This is also a filler chapter, so it'll just be to fill in the time gap.  
Thank you all so much for reviewing! :D  
I was listening to a play list while writing this and BAM this came on, and a part of this made my heart melt. So this is kinda set out like a song-fic (reverting back to old ways... :P)  
Also, the medical info in the first part of this is very accurate, you can wake up from surgery many times, lucid enough to make start talking to someone, before you crash and go all looopy (ergo, the panic attack, and tiredness). It is all an after-effect of either the trauma you have been through, or the anaesthetic (which tastes HORRIBLE, might I add).  
Disclaimer: Own nothing.  
Song: Say when, The Fray.**

**Come across you're lost and broken,**

"Colby! Come on man, you need to calm down!" David was swallowing his fear. It was the only thing he could do because he could definitely not freak out in front of Colby – because Colby was freaking out, with very good reason to (and that thought just made him feel even worse). Colby seemed to recognise his voice, David noted as recognition dawned over his friends face. Then something happened – David had been half-dreading half-praying for it since this whole mess had began (he had actually lost track of time).

Colby opened his eyes.

**You're coming to, but you're slow and waking,**

He couldn't see at first, his vision blurred over and only small blotches of colour were visible. Someone (from the voice, he assumed it was David) was standing over him. Several questions came to mind: why was he so tired, what had happened to him, and why the hell was David, of all people, standing over him. Sure, his friend (ex-friend) had given him the hook, but surely they weren't back to normal. "D'vd?" He asked. Breathing was difficult, let alone speaking. All he wanted to do was sleep. But something was stopping him, a nagging thought in the back of his head telling him to stay awake, that falling asleep could not be a good thing.

Then it all came back to him. The needles, the car crashing into him, constant pain (which seemed to have disappeared now, a blessing which he was extremely thankful for), everything. The memories were threatening to overwhelm him again, and the line between fact and fiction slowly began to blur again.

David must've guessed what was wrong, because as Colby's vision cleared, he could see the look of worry plastered onto his friends face. "Where?" He could barely speak, his one worded questions were barely audible to Colby himself, but David understood them perfectly.

"Hospital," Colby's eyes widened at that. Didn't David know who his doctor was? He opened his mouth to speak, but David cut him off. "We got Brown." His friend visibly relaxed. David could see how tired he was. "Get some sleep, I'm not going anywhere."

**You start to shake,**

Colby noticed it from the shaking from the start (or when he was fully conscious and able to stand up that is,). His hands shook, constantly. It wasn't that bad – at times. After a nightmare it was horrendous, but normally, it wasn't bad. He could still hold a gun and hit his target with exceptional precision – normally. But it worried him. Why should they shake? Sure, he would only sleep whenever he was on sleeping pills (he assumed that was what the nurses had added to his medication anyway), and there was the occasional flashback. He was also extremely paranoid. For all he knew, any of these could have been working with Brown, and that scared the hell out of him. The only thing that was keeping him sane was Alan – who was there almost constantly during the day – and his team mates. At least he was out of here in a few days.

**You still haven't spoken, what happened?  
They're comin back and you just don't know it,**

"David, has he spoken to you at all?" Megan asked. Her and David were staking out some guys house, their man was suspected of dealing drugs to minors, but the guy was making no moves so far, so why not delve into the awkward subject of Colby.

"Has _who_ spoken to me?" For all he knew, she could mean Don or Charlie – well, not really – he knew she meant Colby, but admitting to her that his friend hadn't talked to him would only make both of their worry find new ways to multiply, which, considering how high it currently was, was not a good thing in any way.

"Colby."

"No."

"I'm worried about him. He's not speaking to anyone – about what happened I mean, - and it's bad for him. I mean, considering everything that's happened, he needs someone to talk to and he just won't let us in and-" Megan was ranting. Talking about the problem was her way of venting out all of the feelings she would normally keep locked up. Colby had been hurt extremely badly, and the thought made her want to cry, to kill the person that did this (unfortunately for them, Brown was already dead and according to Kayla (they were on first name terms with a doctors, doesn't send alarm bells ringing, does it?) Colby was not up to answering their questions yet, so they couldn't know if there was more than one person out there,), to scream at whatever God there was for making this happen to her friends. "-and, I'm scared. What if there was someone else that will come after Colby, he can't go through all of that again David, I'm worried about the second time and a third time would just- He'll be okay, right?"

David was lost for words. Megan, the rock of the group (well, after Colby that was, but in his current state, there was no way David was letting him be the rock) was asking, he'd even go as far as to call it pleading, for reassurances, for help and advice. It hit him then how much she had been affected by her time in the DOJ, and silently cursed all the other agencies (CIA, CID, DOJ, just to name a few) that had nearly tore his team, his friends – his family – apart.

Why them? He was pretty sure that they had never done anything to them, and he couldn't name many teams that had dealt with this amount of stuff.

"He'll be fine," He answered after a long pause, in which he had practically zoned out, to find Megan staring at him while fighting back tears. He squezzed her shoulder comfortingly. "We'll make sure of it."

**And you want to cry but there's nothing coming,  
They're gonna push until you give in,  
Say when,**


	9. If everyone goes away, I will stay

_**A/N:** Words cannot express how sorry I am for leaving it so long. I have had a lot to deal with recently and it slipped my mind. However, I got some inspiration this morning in the form of my friend, and here we are. I hope you enjoy it and don't hate me too much for the wait!  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own Numb3rs, or Colby (as much as I would love to). I only own Kadar, Brown, and Kayla._

Kadar paced the room angrily. He had always wanted revenge for his wife's death. Even his current wife couldn't – or wouldn't – understand it, but he needed closure. The anger he felt at the two that had destroyed his life could not be put into words, only actions, but now those actions were meaningless. That fool! His plan was working perfectly until Granger's idiotic partner had came in and ruined it. It wasn't supposed to happen like that! He'd thought that Grangers' partner had hated him for the betrayal. Sure, he hadn't expected a thank you card from the guy, but the protectiveness was a surprise. He'd been wrong and he didn't like that at all. He had to get back at Granger, make him feel the same pain as him. Now that he knew about the connection between the two partners, a new plan was forming in his mind... Maybe he could put Granger through the same guilt he had been through, the same torment of knowing he had caused someone he loved great pain. Granger deserved everything that came to him. Granted he didn't want to hurt anyone innocent in his crusade, but he would if it came to it...

* * *

"You don't have to do this now if you don't want to Colby, we can wait. I mean, you've only just gotten out of hospital after all." Megan assured her friend. Her and David were to take Colby's statement about the abduction, and to be quite honest, she was completely against it. They should wait until he was healed, or at least able to stay awake for more than two hours at a time. However, Colby was adamant that he wanted to get it over and done with. He also wanted the 'other guy' caught. When the team had been informed that there had been two people, not just Brown, their worry had increased tenfold. Now there was not only the aftermath to deal with, but the added threat of it happening again.

"Meg, I'm fine. You need to catch this other guy, so you need me." Colby sighed. He really did not want to do this, but he had to. Kedar was a terrorist thought dead by, well, everyone except for Brown (that was a link he still had to work out) and it was necessary that was put right. He had no idea how Kedar was alive he'd seen the building blow up himself!

"Okay then, just tell us what you know." David's words were soft and kind. He and Colby had been making big steps in regaining their friendship over the past few days. Colby was staying at his until 'he was better – but David knew that it would be much longer than that. They'd talked about the Chinese incident (alcohol and painkillers were not a good mix, an important lesson David had learnt that night; he'd nearly had to call Kayla..) but they hadn't really breached the subject of Colby's recent abduction and torture.

Colby nodded, trying to ignore the slight shake to his hands and the hammering of his heart as he began. "At around half twelve, I got to the place. It looked like a private practice, Brown had told me to go there. I hadn't... I never thought anything of it really." He shook his head, taking a minute to compose himself. "I don't really remember much after that, but I'm sure they drugged me then. I woke up maybe an hour later, I'm not sure... I couldn't see Brown at first. The room was small, but I could see a tray of needles in the corner..." David frowned. He could see how much energy this was taking out of his friend. Colby was describing what had happened in a businesslike manner, and David was sure he'd skip over less important details that would involve feelings. He hated seeing his friend hurt like this, and he wanted nothing more than to put a bullet in the people that caused this, but he kept that anger hidden for now; it wouldn't help Colby, and right now, helping Colby was the thing he cared about the most.

Colby let his eyes drop to the floor before continuing. "I don't remember much after that-" _Liar_, a voice whispered to him. He remembered most of it in vivid detail, but they didn't need nor want to know that. The bruises and scars were enough to prove it, they didn't need him going into detail as well. "But, I guess it was at least 10, maybe more, hours later, I woke up again. I couldn't see properly, but there was a woman there, and I'm pretty sure she wasn't an hallucination. I fell unconscious again and when I woke up, handcuffs were gone. I made a run for it, and Brown hit me with his car." Colby paused for a minute. "The other guy, Kedar, is the one you need to worry about."

"Who is he?" Megan asked.

"Arms dealer. We were pretty sure he abducted kids as well." Colby answered, his anger at the crimes made known by the tone of his voice.

"How'd you know about him? We've never dealt with him."

"I investigated him in Afghanistan. I can't really say anything more on it, but until this, everyone thought he was dead. I don't know how he got into business with Brown, let alone how he's breathing."

_**A/N:** I hope you liked it:)_


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